art

Seems like the owner’s hobby is a crafty interpretation of religious freedom…

HobbyLobby

Link to the Oil Source

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Watch out for the fumes…

DubyaPainter

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Is there a family discount?

Link to the Oil Source.

Obama_Tattoo

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Thomas Kinkade shown dipping his brush into the company inkwell.

Thomas Kinkade shown dipping his brush into the company inkwell.

Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Trite Shite, is back in the news for fleecing his flock of God-fearing gallery owners.  According to my inside sources, his scheme went something like this…

Doe-eyed followers would confess their love of Uncle Thom’s work to him. After carefully sizing them up, Thom would offer to let them help spread the gospel by opening a Thomas Kinkade gallery. That’s right, folks! All you need is a prayer and a six-figure check.

These investors got everything they were promised—except the heavenly returns. To make up for this shortcoming, Uncle Thom cheerfully provided them with his vast collection of prints no one wants, while the “good” stuff was reserved for investors with more seniority (i.e. friends and family—must suck not to be a Kinkade).

New owners were left with absolute crappiest of the crap. And they had no choice but to buy it, as specified in their contracts. What’s more, they were required to sell at or above minimum retail prices, to make it easier for Thom to undercut them while hawking his own stash of crap on QVC.

Thanks Thom, you’re my inspiration. I know if I work hard enough creating art people will laugh at, I too can swindle millions.

For more about Thom’s drinking, groping and whizzing on Winnie the Pooh after a business deal at Disneyland, check out this L.A. Times article from 2006.

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